Driving to Meridian
by The Grim Reeper
Summary: This is some random thing that was going through my mind at school. Oneshot! Plz review!


_**This is just some random thing that came up in my head during during my lunch break at school. I don't know how I thought of it. I've never played any of the LOK games, but I'm planning on it, so be nice. R&R plz!**_

**Driving to Meridian**

_Kain wanted to drive to Meridian to get away from the Pillars for a change. His sons, Raziel (age: 18), Turel (age: 16), Dumah (age: 15), Rahab (age: 12), Zephon (age: 8), and Melchiah (age: 5), decided to go with him, to give him trouble I suppose. Kain decided to resurect Umah (because Ariel couldn't leave the pillars), to give him a hand with his troublesome sons. _

Kain: Where are we?

Umah: Dunno. Have a look at your map.

Kain: (Pulls over to the edge of the road, get's out the map and sees scribles) Who scribbled on the map!

Melchiah: Whoopsie. I thought it was Raziel's homework.

Raziel: Was that you? Did you use my homework as a doodle board?

Melchiah: I didn't say anything.

Raziel: Yes, you did.

Melchiah: No, I didn't.

Raziel: Did.

Melchiah: Didn't.

Raziel: Did!

Melchiah: Didn't!

Raziel: DID!

Melchiah: DIDN'T!

Kain: SHUT UP!

Raziel and Melchiah: NO!

Kain: YES!

Raziel and Melchiah: NO!

Umah: (Firmly and angrily) When you've quite finished!

There was silence.

Umah: Now, Kain, you can still see the map if you look past the scribbles. There aren't many. Where are we?

Kain: (Trying to read one of the scribbles) Kain... is... a... welsh... git...

_Giggling comes from behind Umah and Kain. Umah tries her best not to join in._

Kain: Melchiah...

Melchiah: Yes Daddy?

Kain: Come up here.

Melchiah: Yes Daddy.

_Melchiah squeezes passed his older brothers and nearly tripped himself when Raziel made a scary face at him. His head peared in between Kain and Umah's seats._

Melchiah: I came Daddy.

Kain wacks Melchiah's head with a baseball bat.

Melchiah: (Groggily) Thank you Daddy.

Kain: You're welcome. You can go back to your seat now.

Melchiah: Okay Daddy.

_Melchiah turns around and sees his brethren with their swords in their right hands and flags in the other reading 'Melchiah's going to die'._

Melchiah: MUMMY! DADDY!

Kain: YOU ROTTEN BUGGERS DON'T HAVE A MOTHER!

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: WELL, IT'S HIGH TIME WE HAD ONE!

Melchiah: (lips tremble until gives into crying) WWAAAHHHH! I WANT A MUMMY!

Umah: (Picks up Melchiah, puts him on her lap and cradles him) Oh, Melchiah... You poor baby...

Kain: 'Poor baby'? That's cheap! I'm the poor baby. He's scard me for life, calling me a 'welsh git'.

Umah: You deserved it.

Melchiah: Oh, Umah, you're such a good vampire. Many, many times, I wished, you were my mother.

Kain: Oh please...

Melchiah: And you, Daddy, are a tall disapointment!

Kain: Get in the back.

Melchiah: (With an innocent look on his face) Okay.

Kain: And don't draw on the moving glass.

Dumah: You mean a 'window'?

Kain: That's what I said.

Raziel: No, you didn't.

Kain: Yes, I did.

Umah: (Places her hand on her forehead) Oh, someone, please kill me again.

Raziel: DIDN'T!

Kain: DID!

Umah: WON'T YOU TWO SHUT UP!

Kain and Raziel: No!

Umah: If you don't stop this arguing, I'm gonna get the other five boys out of the car, burn som sulfur candles in here and lock you two in here.

Kain: I'm not have those candles in here again! You'll stink the car out!

Umah: So, are you two going to behave?

Kain and Raziel: (In fear) Yes, Mummy.

Umah: Good. Now, Kain, where are we?

Kain: (Struggles to read the map) You know, I can't read maps.

Umah: You told me you could.

Kain: That's because I can.

Umah: Either you can read a map or you can't. Which one is it?

Kain: Both.

Umah: (confused look) Why both? Usually it's, "Yes, I can read a map."

Kain: This one's a tricky one.

Umah: Let me see.

_Umah snatches the map from Kain and dust and loose crayon shavings start flying in the air._

Umah: (Coughs) You know why, you can't read this map?

Kain: Why?

Umah: It's Raziel's homework.

Raziel: Melchiah, I'll kill you!

Melchiah: AAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!

Melchiah realizes he can't run anywhere.

Raziel: Don't worry, I'll kill ya when we get home.

Melchiah: (Relieved) Thanks Raziel.

Raziel: It's only because you're to ugly to look at in the car.

Melchiah: (Starts crying again) Waaaahhhh!

Turel: Be nice to him.

Raziel: No.

Zephon: Why not?

Raziel: He's so fun to tease. Watch this... Melchiah, you forgot, you have to go to the loo.

Melchiah: Very funny, Raz. That one hasn't worked since I was three.

Raziel: Bugger.

_There was still bits of crayon flying around. A bit went up Kain's nose and he's alergic to crayon, causing him to sneeze uncontrollably._

Kain: Achoo!

Rahab: Dad's sneezing! It's time to count!

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: One!

Umah: You count Kain's sneezes?

Kain: They count how many sneezes I make and then they write it in the _Nosgoth's book of Records._

Umah: Why?

Kain: It entertains them. Achoo! Bless me.

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: Two!

Umah: (laughs) "Bless me". You should write that in there too.

Kain: You wouldn't dare. Achoo!

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: Three!

Umah: What's the largest amount of sneezes have you done?

Kain: 46.

Umah: Wow...

Kain: Achoo!

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: Four!

_Half an hour later..._

Kain: Achoo!

Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah: (getting tired of counting) Three thousand and forty-six.

Umah: He's definitely beaten his highest record, boys.

Zephon: (Excitedly) Dad made a music record?

Turel: Yes, Zephon. He recorded a song in Hollywood about burying Fats Domino in the sand.

Raziel: Don't lie to him, Turel. He never made a music record in his life, Melchiah.

Melchiah: (Disapointed) Oh...

Kain: Achoo! (sniffs) Oh, that feels beter.

_His sons start clapping to congradulate him, on beating his record and the fact that he's finally stopped. _

Umah: Well, we've got no map and the sun's coming up, all we can do now is go home.

Everyone except Umah: YAY!

_The went home, Umah was killed and buried again and they all lived happily ever after... for five minutes._

_**Was it funny? Tell me what you think.**_


End file.
